From EONSEX, which bills itself as the world’s largest adult search engine, I bring you Highlights of the Search by Country for porn.
What? Yes, that’s right. Broken down by country, this is a list of the top search terms used on EONSEX to find porn.
So let’s have a look!
Egypt: spanking, fucking, classic, ron jeremy, spank, interracial, milk, cumshot circus.
Cumshot circus sounds kinda… special, doesn’t it? Doot do-do da-da doot do-do! In the center ring, will the Flying Rambinos leap over… I just can’t even finish it. And the clowns! DEAR GOD THE CLOWNS!
Panama: ass thick, ron jeremy, teen, asia carrera
Write your own Asia Carrera / Panama Canal joke.
France: kyla cole, sybian, anal, kscans, orgasm, ddf, pee, piss, german pee, teen, facesitting, voyeur, hairy, animal, bukkake, cum face, senior, french, granny
German pee? Is German pee somehow better? I don’t know from pee, so I’ll have to stay uninformed I suppose. On the other hand, bukkake, senior, and granny all close up like that worries me.
Jamaica: anime fiction, classic porn, dragonball hentai
Jamaica, more like Japan every day!
Germany: ddf pee, sybian, hairy, ddf, squirt, animal, pee, fully cloth, piss, torture, fisting, scat.
And then we get to the Germans and find that they are also very interested in pee. What is it with you people and pee? Fuck!
Japan: kyla cole, “kyla cole”, creampie, als, easy, vimax pills penis enlargement, lustful, anime, asian bukkake, private com
All right. The Japanese are… a lot of them are searching for penis enlargement. Way to break a stereotype, guys. Also they only want Asian bukkake. Foreign bukkake doesn’t interest them at ALL.
Ireland: girls hunting girls tiffany, japancoeds, meatholes, rape, sandy knight, xl, ashley moore, bignaturals
Remind me to never go to Ireland. Christ. What is “meatholes”? Do the Irish fuck meatloaf? Hamburgers? HAGGIS?
Also, note to the Japanese – Stay at home! A lot of the world wants to fuck you.
United Kingdom: “kyla cole”, abby winters, sybian, pov, milf, squirting, dogging, wifey, british
The British are so cute! WIFEY! Awwwwwwwwwww! That’s just so… gosh darn cute! Freaks.
U.S.A.: sybian, “kyla cole”, ftv, homemade, granny, asian, pov, redhead, mature, milf, m.i.l.f., hentai
Remember Japanese people! Stay home! You will get fucked otherwise! And in America? We’ll fuck your mom and grandmother, too! Seriously! Stay home! Go to Ireland! Sure, they’ll rape you and all, but they would rather fuck meat.
Note: I have no idea who Kyla Cole is but the rest of the world seems utterly fascinated with her.