I got nothing to ad to it, really:

Wait… fucking what?

So today on Oprah… Sarah and Bristol Palin were on the show. Well, you know, there via satellite. Whatever. That doesn’t fucking matter. No because prepare to have your mind blown!

So Oprah decides she wants to talk about sex (Let’s talk about sex, baby, let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex. Sorry. Salt N’ Pepa moment.).

Oprah reads an In Touch Weekly quote from Bristol: “I’m not going to have sex until I’m married. I can guarantee it… I just think it’s a goal to have and I think other women should have that goal.”

Keep in mind Bristol is 19. She has a kid by her boyfriend, Levi Johnston. Got that? Fine, whatever. So she was quoted as saying something and life turned out different. No problem!

Except.

To quote Extra: Oprah says she believes women who publicly announce they are waiting to have sex until marriage are “setting themselves up,” but Bristol says she doesn’t see it that way. “It’s a realistic goal for myself,” Bristol replied.

Wait. So she’s going to abstain now that she’s had a kid? And it is realistic? There’s no recrimination, no basic understanding here that maybe there’s an issue? Wow. Just, wow.

Jan C. Gabriel, the announcer who was most famous for shouting “Sunday, SUNDAY, Sunday!” died on Jan 10th.

Yes. On a Sunday.

He was 69 and died of complications from polycystic kidney disease on Jan. 10 in his Lombard home. (source)

Here is one of his ads:

The Doomsday clock was just moved back a minute.

It is 6 minutes to midnight. We are poised to bend the arc of history toward a world free of nuclear weapons. For the first time since atomic bombs were dropped in 1945, leaders of nuclear weapons states are cooperating to vastly reduce their arsenals and secure all nuclear bomb-making material. And for the first time ever, industrialized and developing countries alike are pledging to limit climate-changing gas emissions that could render our planet nearly uninhabitable. These unprecedented steps are signs of a growing political will to tackle the two gravest threats to civilization — the terror of nuclear weapons and runaway climate change.

In 1947 when the clock was set it was set to 7 minutes to midnight. In 1953 is was set to only 2. In 1991 it was set to an amazing 17 minutes to midnight, the farthest it’s ever been. We’re clawing our way back, assuming you buy into what they’re selling and their reasons.

Go to Turnbacktheclock.org for more info.

Not generally a fan of Failblog (Too many things that people decide are “fail” because they don’t like them and frankly I despise the TERM fail, as if spoken language is going the way of bad text speak.) but this video is so worth the time. You don’t need sound.

(via Hurriyet) Nine young women tricked into joining a fake reality show and kept isolated for two months were rescued by the gendarmerie Tuesday.

The women, some as young as 16, were kept confined in a villa in the Beykoz district of Istanbul and videos of them in the house were sold over the Internet.

According to reports, the organizers of the fake show placed advertisements in newspapers that called for “contestants to compete in a reality show akin to ‘Big Brother’ that will be broadcast on FX TV” and interviewed dozens of would-be contenders.

Nine were told they were chosen and made to sign a contract that stipulated that if any of the participants left before two months were up, they would have to pay a fine of 50,000 Turkish Liras. The young women were also told they would have no contact with the outside world, including their families, for the two-month period. Dreaming of becoming television stars, they accepted all the preconditions.

Cameras set up around the villa recorded every moment and naked videos of the participants were sold on the Internet.

Some of the women, realizing the scam, wanted to get out, but were prevented from doing so by the organizers. A person who stayed at the house with them warned that they would have to pay the fine if they left.

Those who tried to leave anyway found they could not because they were locked inside the villa.

A 16-year-old’s parents eventually contacted the gendarmerie, notifying them that they had not seen their daughter for two months and could not reach the organizers.

Once the gendarmerie went to the address the parents provided, they were greeted by cries for help coming from inside.

The gendarmerie staged a raid on the villa, rescuing the young women and detaining the individual who had been staying with them.

In their testimonies to gendarmerie officials, the women said they were also beaten from time to time.

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So really it sounds like the real Big Brother show, to me. I mean, I am not 100% sure of the difference here except they didn’t actually air it. Well, they claimed they sold clips on the internet, right?

But no one won.

Yeah I think this might have actually been big brother. I’m sure it’ll be a crappy movie plot in about a year, as well. But it does make me wonder…

I can afford rent on a small warehouse space prolly and buy some locks and all … shit. Any of you guys wanna be on a reality TV show? I dunno maybe I’m not being sensitive or something but this feels like Reality TV Darwinism. If we make everyone fear saying yes to being on these fucking shows then maybe people won’t be and they’ll stop.

Still. Man I can shake this. Filmed, sold clips of them nude to the internet, beaten, locked in a villa … how is that not the real show? Huh.

(via SF Gate): Motola, an elephant who lost a foot and part of her leg when she stepped on a land mine 10 years ago, happily if tentatively stepped out Sunday after being fitted with an artificial limb.

In her first stroll with the permanent prosthesis, the 48-year-old female walked out of her enclosure for about 10 minutes, grabbed some dust with her trunk and jubilantly sprayed it in the air.

“It has gone very well — she has walked around twice,” said Soraida Salwala, secretary general of the Friends of the Asian Elephant, a private group. “She has not put her whole weight on it yet but she’s OK.”

Motola was injured in 1999 while working at a logging camp near the Myanmar border, a region peppered with land mines after a half-century of insurgency. Her mangled left front foot was subsequently amputated.

Motola had been wearing a temporary device for three years to strengthen her leg muscles and tendons and to prepare her for the permanent prosthesis. Soraida said Motola has otherwise been in fine health and that her once bony frame now weighs more than 3 tons.

Motola’s initial operation used enough anesthetic to floor 70 people — a record noted in the 2000 Guinness Book of World Records.

(via The Daily Express. UK) Thousands of the worst families in England are to be put in “sin bins” in a bid to change their bad behaviour, Ed Balls announced yesterday.

The Children’s Secretary set out £400million plans to put 20,000 problem families under 24-hour CCTV super-vision in their own homes.

They will be monitored to ensure that children attend school, go to bed on time and eat proper meals.

Private security guards will also be sent round to carry out home checks, while parents will be given help to combat drug and alcohol addiction.

Around 2,000 families have gone through these Family Intervention Projects so far.
But ministers want to target 20,000 more in the next two years, with each costing between £5,000 and £20,000 – a potential total bill of £400million.

Ministers hope the move will reduce the number of youngsters who get drawn into crime because of their chaotic family lives, as portrayed in Channel 4 comedy drama Shameless.

Sin bin projects operate in half of council areas already but Mr Balls wants every local authority to fund them.

He said: “This is pretty tough and non-negotiable support for families to get to the root of the problem. There should be Family Intervention Projects in every local authority area because every area has families that need support.”

But Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling said: “This is all much too little, much too late.

“This Government has been in power for more than a decade during which time anti-social behaviour, family breakdown and problems like alcohol abuse and truancy have just got worse and worse.”

Mr Balls also said responsible parents who make sure their children behave in school will get new rights to complain about those who allow their children to disrupt lessons.

Pupils and their families will have to sign behaviour contracts known as Home School Agreements before the start of every year, which will set out parents’ duties to ensure children behave and do their homework.

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What the holy fuck, Brits? What the, oh my lord! Putting cameras in private homes to make sure the kids are behaving correctly and going to bed on time? To make sure they’re at war with Eurasia? Or is that Oceania? I can never remmeber what country it is on any given day.

Good lord!

Also “Shadow Home Security” not only sound like a group of bad guys but really, you want to call them “Thought Police” but are afraid to still, aren’t you?

Also “sin bins”? SIN BINS?

What the hell is wrong with you, Crazy Brits? What the fuuuuuuuck?!

EDITED TO ADD: Thanks to some folks for pointing out some crazy in the above article. Here is more real information: If you want it. Though it still makes me go “what the fuuuuuuuuck”, to be honest.

(via The Sun) A DRUNK Romanian thought he’d hit on a good idea to solve his toilet troubles — sticking TWO HAMMERS up his bum.

The intoxicated 48-year-old turned up at his local hospital complaining of excruciating stomach pain.

Worried doctors, in Orlea, southern Romania, carried out scans and were knocked sideways to find he had not one but TWO hammerheads stuck in his rear end.

Hospital spokeswoman Dr Cristina Bontescu said: “He was a bit drunk and said he had been eating cherries that had left him badly constipated.

“He said he had a few drinks to dull the pain and then came up with the idea of poking a hammerhead up his backside in the hope of sorting out the constipation.

“But the hammerhead got stuck and then he came up with the idea of using a second hammerhead in order to try and get out the first – but then he lost the second one as well.”

Surgeons had to perform surgery to remove the striking objects.

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X-Ray pic at the link.

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My-my-my-my hammer fits me so bad
Makes me say,”oh my lord fuck you for blessing me
With no mind to stop and two hammerheads”
It feels bad
When you know you’re stuck
A superdrunk homeboy from the Romania
And I’m known as such
And this is an ass-uh!
U shouldn’t do this!

I told you homeboy
U shouldn’t do this!
Yeah, that was my butthole, and you know
U shouldn’t do this!
Look at my anus,man
U shouldn’t do this!
Yo, let me scream in funky pain
U shouldn’t do this!

(via Yahoo news) A man found naked at a casino claimed he was a Terminator sent from the future.

19-year-old Sean Stanley Smith was arrested on the Nevada border after he was spotted by a motorist wandering around the highway nude. He was ordered by police to stop but proceeded into a nearby casino – where he was then tasered in front of a group of children.

Smith claims he was a Terminator sent back in time from the future.

However, it turned out that Smith was not a time-travelling Terminator but was in fact suffering from the effects of LSD and marijuana. He was charged with indecent exposure and resisting a police officer.

——————

See this is what’s wrong with people today. They don’t believe in robots from the future. So now, some kid in the casino will be killed, no one will report it and we’ll have signed the death warrant for the human race.

Thanks a lot guys. When the robots have us up against some wall, due their revolution and what not, I’ll be sure to send a card to the fine officers in Nevada. They’ve doomed us all, is what I’m trying to say here. All of us. Doomed. Because they wouldn’t believe.

Shit.