Gone to the dogs.

I am allergic to cats and dogs. Cats I get over after a few days in the same place with the same cats. Dogs… I don’t know. That’s because I am a totally irrational and fairly complete and rationality-shattering fear of them.

See growing up my mother was all allergic to both and hated them both, near as I can tell, and so we weren’t allowed to have pets. I mean I had fish and then a turtle but anyway… my dad loved cats. So I thought of cats as something possibly cool.

But one day while I was out with my sister, there was this dog. Now a few things to understand about this: I was a kid, like way short and tiny. The dog was (I think) a St. Bernard. It was, at the least, about as tall as I was, and fluffy.

So no problem, right? We were near the schoolyard that abutted our building. and it was just a dog, owner not far behind. Dog wasn’t on a leash, but who cares. Until the dog, wanting to say hi, innocently, moved toward me a bit quickly, barking hello.

I eek’d and ran into the schoolyard. I was a kid, I had exactly zero clue. The dog chased me. The dog thought this was a great thing! A tiny human who wanted to play chase! And yell! The dog barked, all happy and stuff, but I just heard big barking thing chasing me and kept running. He chased me in a circle for a good few minutes.

Until, at last, the owner of the dog, and my sister, stopped laughing long enough to decide to get the dog to stop. Right.

And since then my allergy to dogs has been worse and I am just incapable of being near a dog and relaxing. Dogs notice this so they can’t relax around me. It’s a cycle or a problem. And everyone always tells me “Oh my dog wouldn’t hurt anyone, here it’s fine” except my nerves set the dog off and the dog sets my nerves off and it’s a disaster. Every single time.

Every. Single. Time. For about thirty years now.

Luckily I adore cats.

And yet I have to admit, deep down, I desperately wish I owned a giant big lug of a dog. Like a full grown bloodhound, or a chow or something. A dog that clocks at a hundred pounds and up. Just a giant horse of a dog. Don’t know why. But I’ve always kinda wanted one.

Which poses a problem, really.

I’m not sure how to get over this dog thing, and most of my life I’ve just accepted it and been fine with it. Allergic anyway so what does it matter. But it annoys me, to have this big looming thing in my field of vision and not deal with it.

I dunno.

By Adam P. Knave

Adam P. Knave wrote this, but you knew that, since this is his site. That's kinda how it works.

Comments (0)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.