Godzilla and his personal life as shown through film.

Then there was this:

To which I answer: Haven’t you seen Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (also known as Invasion of Astro-Monster)? Because that’s what it is – in allegory. Let me explain.

In the movie, humans go to Planet X where they hear all sorts of stuff but mostly they see Ghidorah attack. The people of planet X want the humans to grab them some Godzilla and Rodan to help with their Ghidorah problem.

Except it turns out the people of Planet X can control the beasts and then threaten Earth and then stuff goes nutty and eventually Godzilla and Rodan fight Ghidorah and it looks like Ghidorah wins and … hey this film doesn’t seem to make any sense. And it might not – on the surface. But when you dig deeper you can see a few things of import:

Ghidorah was off having a night out. But the bartender called some guys and told them to find Ghidorah’s family and get them to pick his drunk ass up. So these other guys go and think this is fine and smart. They call up Godzilla and Rodan, Ghidorah’s cousins, and they come out in their pick-up, to wrangle their cousin back home one more time.

Really though, the bartender didn’t like Ghidorah either. No, the owners of the bar thought they would get all these dudes drunk, round them all up, and then they could call the police and be done with them in one fell swoop.

This was because they were, let’s face it, really shitty tippers.

Anyway, Godzilla really didn’t come out to party. He was up late the night before and so he wanted Rodan to deal with it so they could just go home already. You can see this in the way the tail moves. But, still, he gets talked into a drink as well. The family gets into a fight, of course, about why they’re there and whose fault it all is and Godzilla ends up doing a dance that he was going to teach to the kids he teaches, a dance of victory. It was supposed to be celebration but in his screams you can hear how it is now frustration and disappointment in his own behavior that is released through dance.

Eventually the plan of the bartenders is realized by the monsters. Which prompts another family spat. No one wants to know they are so disliked because of their own behavior. And so they fight again, but then the dust settles you realize they’ve come to terms and will turn over a new leaf. Ghidorah is in the bar, staying. Victorious. Godzilla and Rodan have gone home, accepting their cousin’s life choices and all of them grown to understand tipping a bartender is crucial to good service.

Godzilla returned in his next film – Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster. It takes place on a tropical island and furthers the story by delving into what happens when Godzilla tries to take a vacation, but the art and dance students he teaches need him, how you can not escape responsibility but must work with it to lead a successful life. But that’s a different movie entirely.

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