Kirby Inspired “porn”

So my friend Shane and I were joking else-where on the internet pathways and somehow it ended up at “Kirby written porn” and well then I had to? You know? I had to. So here is that. I refuse to apologize though I realize I possibly should.

———–

Suzette leapt off her couch at the sound of her doorbell ringing. Surely it would be the pizza delivery, for her hunger rose within her, as if a living thing forged in the furnaces of the old Gods.

She opened the door quickly, flinging it wide open.

Oliver stood there, holding a pizza. He looked at Suzette. She looked at him. Her hunger fought with other feelings. Distinct feelings. Oliver watched these feelings fight for domination over the hunger within Suzette.

“You arrive!” Suzette said after a beat. “With pride in your every step, the power pizza coursing through each fiber of the box you heft aloft as if t’were nothing! Certainly, you posses skills unknown to many!”

“I merely serve the Many-Stabbed Caesar Who uses the stick of bread as the symbol for the knife, feeding you with his own doom!” Oliver proclaimed, pizza held aloft. “I do not create the energies needed, but simply channel them, conveying them from there unto you now, as was foretold by your digital order thusly!”

Suzette nodded. “And yet your own power consumes my senses, as much as the tang in the sauces coating the dusted and seared dough overwhelms any hints of basil they may claim to being involved.”

“Mine own power?” Oliver asked. “That ’twas born of the freedom my constant companion, the Mighty Yaris, fills me with, windows retracted, wind invading every inch of my face, my hair, the entire interior, with sheer the force of nature. For it is within the Mighty Yaris that I can feel free, even whilst transporting the heated goods for others.”

Oliver handed the pizza box over to Suzette who set it down on her coffee table, and grabbed her wallet from same. She peeled off two bills and handed them to Oliver, knowingly. “And for you, the extra payment, as befits one such as you, entrusted by the Many Stabbed Caesar how could I do any less but reward you for your virtuous work?”

Nodding and silent, Oliver pocketed the money and started to turn to leave.

“But wait,” Suzette said, stopping him, “for as I said earlier, my senses are driven mad by your own personal powers, the delivery force at the center of all things, the reckless nature of the way you sling the warming bag under your arm, heedless of the power it only recently contained. I would have more than that pizza. I would have … you!”

Oliver considered this offer, unexpected. He had no more deliveries at the moment, and why not, he thought, why not take advantage of an offer made true? He nodded and took Suzette’s hand in his, stepping fully into her apartment.

“We shall copulate, then,” he said, “and make the many-desired beast of yearning, covered in sweat. Muscles straining, desires enflamed, we two shall become one, a unimind of lust.”

“We shall shed our cloth coverings and reveal all to each other,” Suzette agreed, “and together we will find the answer at the heart of all things, with fluids to exchange, and thoughts to comingle.”

“Expression shall blur the state between spoken and pure-thought,” Oliver said, “the bedroom shall become our crucible, a testament to the passing of the old gods, and witness to the birthing of the new, our combined senseless form, reaching and grasping into the cosmos!”

“Fornication shall become form-ication anew, for us both!”

“Verily, we shall enjoy the power merged of ourselves!”

…and reader, they did just that.

But what of the pizza, forgotten, cooling, congealing, full of power and anger at being ignored? Forget not those slices, triangles that combined into a purest circle, a circle of strength and possibility. For it has not forgotten YOU!