Jem! I’m gonna hologram forever…

Shameful realization – I’ve never actually dug into the Jem cartoon here. I mean I’ve created a Scale of One to Jem. I’ve talked about the show some but I’ve never really given it the full on me it deserves.

That changes now! Synergy, hit it!

Jem was one of those shows that makes much more sense when you’re watching it as a kid than it ever will trying to think about it as an adult. But basically there’s this woman, Jerrica Benton. Why isn’t Jerrica a more popular name? It’s the female form of Jericho, like the “Walls Of” which were torn down by sound – come on that’s clever! Anyway her dad built this hologram thing to be ultra-cool and left it to her and so…

Get this – Jerrica runs a music company and uses Synergy, the hologram thing, to disguise herself as a rock star, that she then publishes. It’s like vanity press silly. She leverages all of this technology to basically wear a wig and put on make-up. Thanks, Jerrica, for squandering the greatest leap forward in holographic technology since… well who knows. Since holograms!

What’s funny now is, if you did this show today it would be called Gorillaz, and would be a documentary, in effect. But back them it was Jem. So she gets some folk together, her sister and foster sisters – so way to think outside your circle, Jerrica, and they form a band.

Jem and the Holograms.

Of course Jem was the Hologram. They were really themselves and didn’t pretend to be other people. But the name manages to imply the reverse. Jerrica Benton – Kind of a dick.

So they fight the Misfits, who are not the punk band you might be thinking of, but rather a band of people named Stomer and Pizzazz. Needless to say they were cooler than the so-called Holograms.

But anyway most of the show was Jerrica being all “No one can find out I’m also Jem.” See, I get that when Supergirl doesn’t want people to know her secret ID. I understand it when Spider-Man worries. Their families would be in danger.

When Jerrica does it I have to wonder what the issue is. What is she afraid of? Well. She’s afraid everyone would know she’s a fraud and has been squandering this technology and want to use it. Which is fair, because that’s what she’s doing. She basically has a secret identity because she’s kind of a dick and doesn’t want to be called on it.

It’s true.

Mind you this all ignores something. Fuck the hologram tech. Seriously – they also own the first true AI in Synergy. And she’s used to… help Jerrica’s music career. Christ, that’s the meaning of heartbreak. There Synergy is, brain the size of a planet and they ask her to take Jerrica to the stage. Call that job satisfaction? ‘Cause I don’t.

Jerrica Benton – worst person in the world? Possibly. Kimber totally should have punched her the fuck out and taken over. Maybe that was an unaired episode. I can hope.

By Adam P. Knave

Adam P. Knave wrote this, but you knew that, since this is his site. That's kinda how it works.

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